and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
