plz talk dirty to me
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
