you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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