My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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