you mean i was at the winter classic?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
where are my eyebrows?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
