you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
