hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
