we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
