I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
