She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
