Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
