But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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