well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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