Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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