she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
