heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
