Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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