I wish I could punch you in the face.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
