dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
