butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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