JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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