so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
