With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
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I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
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We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
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