wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
