Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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