It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize