my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
