I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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