i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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