Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
