Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize