can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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