It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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