the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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