.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
