It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
