who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
