Porn is love you can see.
accomplished twins. life is a go
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
