Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
