omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Who died my cat blue again?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
