To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
