Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I love having hate sex.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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