Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
