i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I faked an abortion last night.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
