Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I stole a fireplace last night.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.