the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..