i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
