Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
