I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
