Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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