My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It's blow job season.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
