I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
