you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
