He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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