ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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