Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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