Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
