Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
