I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I believe in your delicious
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
