my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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