SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
