Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
