I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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