WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
