The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
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