Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
