But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Me. At least after what I've been through.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
