I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
