i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Randomize