hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We left the knife in your bed.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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