I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
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